unfinished business

Christine's Mother died last night
I curse myself
full of regret
for never meeting
the mother
of the woman
my son has loved
for all these years

I should
have gone to the hospital
should have told her
I will watch over Christine

What stopped me?

I feel small
and stupid
and useless

I want to wrap my arms
around Christine

tell her
I will be you mother now

But how can I?

I barely know her
I barely know my son

and
I know too well
love doesn't always last

What if they decide to part?

her grandmother
my grandmother
her mother
my mother
all had breast cancer

I am afraid

I am afraid
of losing Christine
to this awful disease

I am afraid
for my son

I am afraid
for myself